Two tounges are better than one..

I saw him standing in the corner. I knew that I had to get to know him. He had the look that I liked and I could tell was very comfortable in his own skin. My type can vary on the drop of a dime but my favorite is tattooed, pierced and dark Italian men. You could definitely tell that he marched to the beat of his own drum. I think that was part of the attraction.

I finally got up the courage to talk to him. He had been getting into body modifications in his twenties and now had several. After talking for a bit about tattoos and piercings, he showed me a few. He had done some of them on his own and was particularly proud of a few of them he was able to do on his own. The next thing I know he was opening his mouth and sticking his tongue at me! I had to take a second look because I swore he had two tongues instead of one. He said that he had gotten up enough courage a few years ago and decided to split his tongue. It was pretty interesting and you could only imagine how the conversation progressed. He got a call on his cell and had to leave for awhile.

After he left, I began thinking about gay men and our body/self-image issues and how that related to risk taking especially around sex. My new friend was obviously comfortable in his own skin to make such extreme changes to his body. For many of us it takes a long time to get to a point where we can look in the mirror and not start a sentence with 'if only I were slim/muscled/skinny' but the reality is that for many of us that isn't going to happen over night and actually we're not in the right place to make that change Someone who makes us feel sexy in that moment, at the bar, bathouse or online, says something we want to hear – at that point all rational thinking goes out the window and we want to make that connection regardless of how risky is might be.

Getting to a point where you can look in the mirror and just accept what you've got, is a good start to being happier in your skin. Our bodies are awesome machines of love and pleasure. And expressing that should be encouraged, dammit. It is when we don’t respect our bodies that we might take risks might harm these awesome machines of self-expression

Fundamentally it doesn't matter what anyone else says to you about being handsome, sexy or attractive...until you can look in a mirror and see that spark that others find attractive you won't believe it. My two tongued friend taught me this lesson that evening. So start staring at that mirror and find the bit of yourself that you are comfortable with and start to learn to live with your skin and the shape that you are.

Eventually he came back to the place where I had met him and we began chatting up each other again. I won’t go into details (you can use your imagination) but I can tell you this - two tongues are better than one!